Legend of My Falls

Get it? Ha! Legend of the Fall (famous movie) Legend of My Falls (history of me falling down) Ok, so sometimes I'm funnier to me than i am to others. I laughed, and that's usually all that matters. As I struggle not to drift into a carb induced coma from my very unhealthy lunch of a bagel with cream cheese, chased by a small portion of macaroni and cheese from my one true love, Tim Horton, I shall entertain you with my unfortunate lack of grace:

I have taken two rather nasty falls in the space of 3 months, that both involved stairs. I have never liked steps, stairs or escalators for that matter. I also avoid elevators, unless they're necessary, since, unless i sprout wings, i'll not get there otherwise. I digress. Falls. Stairs. Okay, back on track. I fell down a flight (in this case, 10 steps) of stairs in early February which sent me to urgent care, that ended me up at an orthopedist's in a cast, followed by a brace, an MRI that continues the use of said brace as i have an incredible, horrible, terrible sprain. Somehow, altho i went down on my ample, (yet shapely), rear, i managed to damage my right wrist. (I am right handed, err, or was, until this. I am now quite ambidextrous) Every tiny tendon and ligament in said dainty wrist is in a state of distress, but healing. The brace is unsightly, not all together uncomfortable and has become, for lack of anything else in my focus at the moment: the bain of my existence. I have taken to leaving it off for extended periods of time at home, and do, generally always wear it when outside the safe confines of my abode. (i find that statement humorous, as said safe abode is the site of the first fall!) It is with relief that i share the following; as it's a gee golly good thing i was wearing the aforementioned brace: My high heel got wedged between the heel and the under-arch on the edge of a step as i was alighting toward the landing, and i walked out of my shoe, went down on my right knee and shin (ugly, horrid green and yellow bruise has sprouted) held on to the railing quite unsuccessfully with my left hand and fell forward down 4 steps, and thwacked the right side of my skull flat against the cement (yes, cement) block wall. *Sighs* I have self-diagnosed a slight concussion, as I now sport cooked egg yolk colored under eye's and a soft spot on my cranium.

Were I anyone other than myself, I might use my noggin knocking as an excuse for my, erm, erratic and whackadoodle behavior. I do, blame a fall as a child, for my personality however...

As a small child, i disobeyed (shocker!) my mother and climbed to the top of a 12' slide and proceeded to lose my footing, much to her chagrin, and fall backwards, onto a waiting pad of broken concrete (hhrrrmmm, concrete appears again) and punctured the top of my head. She tells me that i ruined her favorite white sweater, because i was spurting blood like a tiny water fountain. I still have the scar, and my hair has never quite grown in.

And that concludes this episode my loyal followers. As my dear City commented recently, my 'blog will never be lonely' as i get hurt far too many times, and in a variety of ways to lack conversant material.